Excerpts From My Book, How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist: Find Closure From Narcissistic Abuse And Shine Again (Narcissism Book 1)
What Is Revenge?
Revenge is the action of hurting someone emotionally or physically in retaliation for an injury or wrong you suffered as a result of the person you are targeting, or someone they are associated with. Your actions do not directly need to harm the person you want to take revenge on. For instance. If your boss is horrible to you. You may see him/her as a representation of the company you work for. You may reduce your work effort or actively sabotage the company through your work in order to take revenge on the company for employing such a horrible boss and not protecting you. This is more common than people would like to admit to themselves. Go slows and long lunches are examples.
Will The Narcissist Suffer If I Take Revenge?
As narcissists are normally very sensitive to criticism, almost any action that criticizes them or their status will cause injury. They have a massive sense of entitlement as well, and any action you take to deny them what they want, even just your time and attention, will anger them. So yes silent treatment and no contact does hurt them immensely.
However. They do not feel remorse as a normal person does. They also do not value things or people as normal people do. They lack total accountability or empathy for others. So you cannot cause them the pain they caused you. Yes you can wound them. But they will tell themselves and everyone that they are the victim. And this belief will have them want revenge back on you, in spades.
Will I Feel Better After Taking Revenge?
Revenge is highly personalized. Some want to destroy the narcissist, while others just want to give them a little unpleasantness. Some people feel as if they cannot go on with their life until they take revenge. They cannot find closure until they have punished the narcissist in some way.
Many people who want revenge think that they will feel better after they hurt the narcissist in some way. However. The effects of any action you take depends on your personality and the type of action you take.
Revenge triggers the feel good centers in our brain and gives you a sense of pleasure. When taking revenge you often let go of the anger inside you, which can be liberating. Insults and social rejection causes emotional pain in a person. A natural response to being injured is to react with aggression in order to protect yourself. As revenge is often an act done out of anger, the natural impulse to strike back is satisfied. It is very hard to fight against that natural instinct and if not reasoned away with logic needs to be acted upon. Until it is reasoned away or acted upon, the person stays in pain. When revenge is taken, the nucleus accumbens (the brain’s rewards center) is activated and relief is felt.
However. The positive emotion soon fades and you return to your normal mood. What researches realized is that you need to feel justified in your actions. To do that, your revenge has to change your situation (that will change your mood), or there needs to be some payoff for the revenge action you took.
Revenge Ideas That Only Irritate And Humiliate
Happy Birthday Grumpy
Send them a birthday card on their birthday. It can be a card saying. Congratulations on your 100th birthday, you don’t look a day older than 95. Or, congratulations on your 6th birthday, you are maturing up so fast.
You Are So Special
Take a box that had something nice in. If it is something the narcissist really wanted all the better. Place an empty toilet roll inside. Send it as a gift to the narcissist. Attach a message. “A gift to show how special you are”. Make sure the package is unmarked and untraceable and the text is printed, not in your handwriting.
You Ain’t Special
Invalidate their accomplishments. Say the narcissist just won a 10 mile race and posted pictures of their accomplishment on Facebook. Send them an article of someone winning a 100 mile race. Or someone beating their 10 mile time. If they just bought a new car or bike, send them articles of all the problems people are having with the vehicle (or item such as a stereo or camera they just bought). Or of a faster comparative model. Oh you just bought a Honda CBR1100XX that can do 179 mph. Well check out the Kawasaki H2R that can do 249 mph.
For more about why you feel the way you do, how to heal, and more revenge ideas, get the book.
How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist: Find Closure From Narcissistic Abuse And Shine Again (Narcissism Book 1)